IF ONLY..

I reviewed my LinkedIn connections which go back to 2007. I was amazed at how many connections are now retired and even dare I say, dead – that sounds terribly morbid of me but let me elaborate.

I see job roles come in and say to myself I can do that and then reality check I can no longer drive; I can’t walk what am I thinking? I then spiral into if only I didn’t have blooming MS there is so much I could have achieved. It’s funny because I’m only measuring professional achievements and that’s not what life is about in totality…

Showering, that daily routine we all do…so I have a shower chair and a step to access the ensuite shower, trouble is this has been problematic of late. I just can’t raise my legs high enough to step in. I was sitting on my rollator and placing my feet in the shower tray attempting to stand. I was just trying everything remotely possible without even considering health and safety, I was just focused on I must do this! In theory this sounds easy but in practice let’s just say I’ve had too many falls resulting in a multitude of bruises to make it an enjoyable experience.

I can no longer access my shower as the step in is too high, my apartment is on the 2nd floor, so a wet room is well, complicated. Urghh that’s sounds awful right..when I told my friends I was washing with Dettol to ensure I was super clean I was read the riot act. I tried using the shampoo caps to wash my hair, microwave for 30 secs then you can place over your head and massage in for a few mins. When you take the cap off your hair is kinda damp and you can attempt to style it. This was a really awful experience for me, to not feel running water on your head just wasn’t the same. I mean if someone is bed bound, or you need to clean your hair in an emergency they are great, just not for me on a blooming regular basis.  I talk about attitude and application and had to get my mind away from catastrophising, I mean to not be able to have a shower every day, could you imagine, something had to be done.

After asking Chat GPT for every piece of equipment recommended for me be able to take a bath or shower, I got my list. I then set about Googling everything and guess what, I needed advice!  My daughter drove me to what can only be described as a Super Store for Mobility/Living Aids. As my daughter wheeled me towards the back of the store, there it was, exactly what I had come to find. A store assistant kindly demonstrated the equipment then swerved to demonstrate another make, on offer! Of course I bought it, 'does it come in other colours please as disabled blue really doesn’t suit my bathroom?'  I was just stared at in reply! It was funny because as I went to the desk to pay (yes desk level with my wheelchair) I waved my iPhone in front of the assistant. ‘Apple Pay?’  I asked, ‘Ms Norey please take a look around you’. I looked around the store and let’s just say it was mostly vacated by retirees. ‘I usually take card, cheques and cash’, he said. I jokingly suggested he was being ageist towards me being younger than his normal demographic, felt good saying that though ;)

As aforementioned I had to go without for a few days, well nearly a week, with Dettol washes and dry shampoo. It nearly broke me, forget the reality that my walking is non-existent and I have an incurable disease, the fact that I couldn’t shower was the end of my world.  It then arrived, put into place by my daughter. A bath with bubbles was run and I transitioned from the seat of my rollator to my brand new disabled blue Bath Lift!  The remote control took the chair to the base of the bath and reclined. I was in heaven, who knew! My access to the shower no longer mattered, I wouldn’t fall trying anymore. The bath lift now gives my independence back, I can get in and out of the bath whether to shower or bathe, wash my hair, shave my legs and ultimately feel really clean again, without the need of the antiseptic, just soap!

When I apply my new normal lens onto my current existence here’s where I’m at. I can still shuffle around my apartment on my rollator. I can stand up with assistance from my standing machine. I can go out in my electric wheelchair which is an absolute godsend. I can bathe and be clean, wash and dry my hair. That’s the everyday stuff I have adapted to so what can be done for my professional life?

Having a progressive disease doesn’t make me the most employable individual so I have had to adapt. I’ve been fortunate to join the team at Gail Kenny Executive Recruitment which is great but also frustrating at times as I can no longer network in person. I also have a contract with a great travel technology company for two days a week. I’m also about to add to my portfolio but more about that another time.

In summary checking my LinkedIn contacts was an eye opener as I was astonished how many were dead not only that, one of my connection’s profiles said, ‘battling with Stage 4 Cancer’. Very humbling and how dare I complain about my life; I’m here and certainly trying to adapt.  I can and will be successful in my professional career it will just take a different path to the one I originally dreamed of. 

As a final thought everyone’s vision of success is different, mine is no longer title driven but it is driven by my passion for the travel industry and being able to pay my bills and the odd treat from Dior. I no longer think If Only buy What If..